Pride and Passion Page 16

  Denying it now would be impossible. She reached down and slid his hand in hers. “Show me your bungalow.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I want us to talk once we get home. We’ll sort it all out then, not here.”

  “You don’t want to be with me?” Her chest tightened as she said the words of her greatest fear. Maybe the reason he knew he’d always need other women was because she’d never measure up to the ones he’d already known.

  The heart-rending tenderness of his gaze eased her worries. “It’s not that, Angel.”

  She took a few steps toward the path to the bungalow and turned, still holding on to his hand. “Then show me the bungalow.”

  His body hummed with anticipation. Usually he was so in tune with her he could use her apprehension to rein himself in, but now he felt only eagerness. Whether his, hers or both of theirs, he didn’t know, but he’d denied himself for so long her fervent willingness stretched his nerves until they were taut as bow strings.

  He needed her and had for so long the ache had become a part of his existence. The thought that they might finally sate the urge filled his mind with the taste of her skin, the feel of her body beneath his. He took the lead as they walked to the bungalow not because he was entirely sure this was the right move to make, but because if he didn’t move faster they might never make it up the stairs.

  “It’s like a tree house,” Lily said as they rounded the bend in the path.

  “It’s on stilts, not in the trees. It makes for more privacy and a better view. Off the veranda you can lean over and pick bananas, avocados or papayas. It’s like you’re suspended above the world.”

  The urge to take the stairs two at a time was overwhelming, but he slowed his pace, letting Lily pause to look out at the jungle canopy as the stairs turned. Her profile in the moonlight taunted him. He wanted her with a desperation he’d never known, but he wanted her willing, not because her emotions were on overload after today’s scare. Still, it had to mean something that she’d been upset, that she’d wanted to come with him at all.

  He opened the door at the top of the stairs and turned on the light. He wondered about candles, about setting a scene for her, but decided to let her decide what she wanted.

  She stood in the doorway, her shoulders relaxing as she smiled. “It’s perfect. Open and romantic, but not overdone. You should do more original design work.”

  “It’s more interesting to fix other people’s mistakes or to bring back something that was too long neglected. Besides, there are too many possibilities in designing something new, unless you know exactly what you want.” He took her hand and led her into the room. “Do you know what you want, Angel?”

  She nodded, then turned and flipped off the light. “The moon is enough, and I don’t want Mikayla to see the light is on and investigate.”

  “She’s not—” Her soft finger against his lips stopped his explanation.

  “In love with you? Yeah, I figured that out today, among other things.” Her hands were trembling as she took his. “I’m in love with you and I have been for a while. You were right about me being jealous. I can hardly breathe when I think of you with someone else. But that doesn’t matter now. All day I wished that I’d told you, that you’d known. I didn’t want to lose you while you thought I was indifferent to you.”

  He pulled her closer. “You’ve never been indifferent. There’s a thin line between love and hate, we just need to keep you on this side.”

  “I never hated you, I swear. I couldn’t handle my reaction to you so I lashed out. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to be honest about how I feel.”

  “I love you too, Angel.” His gut clenched as he squeezed her hands, knowing she told the truth. Finally, she loved him, which was what he’d wanted for so long.

  Lily blinked, surprise lighting her eyes. “You don’t have to—”

  “I fell in love with you the first time I saw you. I sought you out to prove myself wrong, really. From the moment I touched you I knew that it was real, that no one else would ever do.”

  The admission made him feel raw and exposed. He didn’t want to talk anymore, didn’t want to risk the moment getting away from him. He raised his hands to her face, tilting it so that he could slide his mouth against hers. Her lips opened for him, her tongue circling his while her hands crept up his body to undo the buttons of his shirt.

  He broke the kiss and fanned his thumbs along her cheeks. “What do you want, Angel?”

  “I want you to make love to me. I want to fall asleep knowing that you’re with me.”

  “We can just sleep if—”

  “No. Please, don’t reject me again.” Her voice began to tremble. “If pity is all you have to give, I will take it.”

  His heart ached for her, for what they’d done to each other, for each other. “I’ve never pitied you, Lily. But I don’t want to be something you regret.”

  She looked up at him, her eyes glistening. “I regret that we haven’t been together already.”

  He had to trust her, here and now. He took her hand and led her across the room to bed. He lowered his head and kissed her again, smiling when her hands went back to the buttons on his shirt.

  He covered her hands with his own. “Anticipation is one of the best parts of sex.”

  “I don’t believe you.” She grinned and a shiver of delight raced through him. “I think I want you to work at proving yourself wrong. We’ve had too much anticipation.”

  “There can never be enough. Don’t you want me more now than you did before we came upstairs?” He undid the buttons of the white eyelet blouse she wore with deliberate slowness.

  “Yes, but—”

  “And now?” He pushed the shirt off her shoulders and then ran his fingers beneath the straps of her satin bra. He undid the front clasp, opening her up like a present.

  She shook her head, her eyes gleaming with a brazenness he’d never seen. Her fingers made quick work of his buttons and pushed his shirt away. She took a step closer so that the hardened tips of her nipples brushed against his chest. She closed her eyes, tilted her head to one side and began to sway, each subtle movement grazing against him.

  “Now I want you more.” Her lips quirked in a seductive grin. She opened her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. “If you lose the pants, I’ll let you have your way with me.” She leaned closer until he could feel her breath against his ear. “If you take much longer I might even beg.”

  He groaned and dragged her down onto the bed. She kicked off her sandals along the way, making it easy for him to remove her white Capri pants. She wiggled away from him and got up on her knees.

  “Do you need some help?” She reached for his jeans and he tried to let her undo the buttons, clenching his jaw as her fingers brushed against him. Finally it was too much and he stood up to finish the job himself. Mischief gleamed in her gaze as she watched his every move.

  “You like what you see?”

  She shrugged, causing her pert breasts to bounce in invitation. “You’re the first man I’ve gotten to see naked. I’m curious.”

  “Are you?” He rid himself of the rest of his clothes and then joined her on the bed. He was painfully aroused, but he knew she’d need to go slow. He lay down and propped himself up on one elbow, smiling as Lily faced him and did the same thing.

  The intimacy and safety of being with Jake wrapped around Lily like a drug, lulling her to brazen euphoria. “I don’t just read proper literary novels. There are things I’ve read about that have made me wonder.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like if you can really taste someone’s pulse thrumming in their neck.” She dipped her head, kissing his neck until she could indeed feel his pulse beneath her tongue. When she looked up he wore an intoxicated smile that encouraged her to indulge. “And whether you’d feel the way I do when I touch your nipples.” She inched down and flicked her tongue against one flat disk, grinning as it peaked when she blew across
it.

  “Yours are better.” He palmed one breast, rubbing his thumb across the sensitive tip.

  “Why? Because bigger is better?”

  He laughed, rolling them over so that he was on top, his muscular thigh sliding between her legs. “You’re amazing.”

  “I want to feel amazing.” Her body filled with such a charge of excitement, a frantic rush of desire to be with him completely flooded through her. He was here, and alive, and in this moment he was hers completely.

  She indulged her every desire to touch him, to feel the corded and bunched power of his muscles beneath his warm skin. She wanted to learn his body, but thought flew from her mind as his hands began their own exploration.

  Skilled expertise won out and she gave herself over to the heady flash of sensations he rained down on her body. She threaded her hands through his hair while his mouth worked her nipple until her legs began to twitch. His fingers plucked at the bud while he turned his attentions to her other breast. She twisted and bowed her body, trying to ease the ache that came from not receiving what she really craved.

  He must have sensed her frustration because soon one hand was tugging down her panties. She wriggled her hips to help him, thankful when she could kick them off the side of the bed and be completely bare to him. His hand slipped between her thighs and she relaxed them open, enjoying the warmth spreading throughout her body.

  His fingers played her body like a finely tuned instrument, showing her nuances of pleasure she’d never imagined. While he strummed the bud of her sex, his finger slid inside of her, filling her with the most exquisite sensation.

  The feel of his skin beneath her hands wasn’t enough, so she reached for him, bringing his face to hers for a kiss deeper than any she’d ever experienced. Another finger stretched her and she opened herself for it the way she did for his kiss. She moaned into his mouth as her hips began to rock in time with his ministrations. He moved within her, the pleasure reaching a crest that broke all around her, sending warm tingles throughout her body and filling her mind with pure bliss.

  His hands roamed up her body, leaving quivering trails of desire in their wake. From beneath her lust-induced fog she tangled her legs with his, trying to pull him as close as possible.

  “Please, Jake.” Already her body was throbbing for more, throbbing for him. She’d never imagined it would be this way, that she could feel so safe and out of control at the same time. Running her hands down the smooth muscles of his back, she found the rise of his bottom and pulled him against her.

  “Are you ready?” his voice rasped in her ear.

  “Yes, please, yes,” she whispered on a moan.

  He moved over her, his body pressing hers into the soft mattress until she felt the weight of him solid above her. His erection pushed against her, rubbing along her swollen sex. She tilted her hips, watching his eyelids lower at the movement.

  It gave her a rush that he wanted her too. She wanted him completely, needed to know he was fully hers if only for a moment. His dark gaze locked with hers as he shifted and began the slow slide into her.

  Knowing he was filling her made her heart swell with triumph and love. Surely he could see how she felt now. He’d never again have to doubt her devotion. He pumped his hips against her, the friction building her pleasure once again.

  “You’re mine, Lily.”

  “Yes.” She lifted one leg and wrapped it around his hips. Now every move he made pressed right there, pushing her toward climax.

  “No one else will ever have you but me.”

  “Yes.” It was the truth. Her heart belonged to him, now and always. His dark passion drove her deeper into pleasure until it seemed too much to bear. She thought she might not be able to take any more, but at that moment all the tension in her body released. She gasped, clutching at the sheets as her vision narrowed, stars dancing behind her eyes.

  She heard Jake cry out as his hips jerked against her. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on with all the strength she had left.

  Terror gripped her throat as the dream swirled around her. Lily opened her eyes, praying for reality. Her heartbeat steadied as she stared at Jake’s bare chest, the intoxicating scent of him filling her lungs. The nightmare was over, completely.

  Birds twittered outside, the early morning light just beginning to wake them. She ran her hands across the smooth lines of his chest, knowing she needed to get back to the house, to share the good news with Thalia so the older woman wouldn’t be shocked by seeing her grandson alive.

  But she couldn’t let him wake up alone, not after last night. She nuzzled into his neck, kissing the saltiness from his skin. She wished she had half his skill, maybe in time she’d learn how to wake him up so that he’d open his eyes wanting her.

  “Careful, Angel.” Jake’s voice was rough with morning. “As much as I’d love to stay here all day, we do have to go to the house.”

  “A few more minutes, then I’ll go. I’ll tell her and then you can come in, that way she won’t get a shock.” She grinned up at him and then rested her head on his chest so she could hear his heart beating. Today it was the most reassuring sound in the world.

  “You are more amazing than I thought you would be.”

  She giggled. “Glad I could exceed your expectations.”

  His hand swatted her butt beneath the sheet. “That too, but I meant who you are. I’m still sorry for how scared you both must have been yesterday, but I’m glad you were here for Thalia.”

  “Me too.” Lily lifted her head, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth. “You know, if you’re still free on New Year’s Eve, we could stay here.”

  “Why Lily Harris, are you proposing to me?” His gaze clung to hers, studying her reaction.

  “Only if you’re planning on accepting.”

  “Where’s my ring?” He grinned, running his fingers through her hair.

  “Would you wear one?”

  His brows knit together. “Of course. We can pick one out today. I’m glad you’re willing to get married so soon. A few months ago I’d have thought you’d want to put on a show of a wedding, but now I know something here would suit you more.”

  “And you. Besides, we’ll come back here often so we can relive the memory over and over. At some reception hall things can be torn down as quickly as they go up.”

  “That’s very romantic of you, but you don’t have to convince me. After last night, I don’t want to wait too long. Thalia is sharp, she could do the math and might slap me on the back of the head.”

  Lily laughed at the image. “What for?”

  “We didn’t use anything last night, Lily. You could be pregnant right now.”

  His smile had her blood chilling in her veins. Lily sat up, taking the sheet with her. “I’m not pregnant.”

  “Maybe not, but you could be.”

  She couldn’t let him get his hopes up for a baby, now or ever. “Jake, I’m not. I went to the health center at the university and I got a birth-control shot.”

  “When?”

  “After the night in the kitchen. It seemed to be the responsible thing to do.”

  He nodded. “It makes sense, besides it will happen when the time is right.”

  Lily looked about the room for her clothes, not wanting to leave him, but not wanting to disappoint him either. She knew her limits and had stretched them as far as they would go. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for him, but that was her choice. A child would change everything. If she were a mother she’d have to put the child’s need for security above her own desire for love.

  “What is it, Lily? There’s something going on behind those brilliant eyes of yours.”

  It was only fair to tell him, so she turned and braced herself for the disappointment in his eyes. It would come, but she wouldn’t bend to it.

  “I love you, Jake. I truly do. But I won’t have children with you.” She swallowed hard, her mouth having gone dry.

  “Why is that?” His dark gaze
narrowed, shrewdly examining her.

  “I won’t raise a child in the kind of life we’ll lead. It’s not right.”

  A muscle clenched along his jaw. “I don’t understand.”

  “I talked with Thalia and she explained a lot of things for me, about your parents and why you are the way you are.”

  “You don’t want to have children with me because of my father? My God, what did she tell you?”

  “I understand how your parents failed you, how—”

  “And you think I would fail my children?” Jake jumped from the bed, pacing about the room as he picked up his clothes and tossed Lily’s toward her. “I’m good enough to warm your bed, but not to father your children. How long do you plan on staying married to me, Lily? I’m not interested in being your first husband.”

  “You don’t understand.” Lily stared down, wringing her hands in her lap. “Children need security. They need to know where their father sleeps at night.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I’m willing to accept what you offer. I won’t promise to like it, but I will live with it. But I will not bring a child into a life like that. If I had a daughter and she made this choice, it would break my heart to know that was the lesson I taught her.”

  “Then why is it enough for you?” Jake spat the words at her as if she were making the wrong choice.

  “Because I love you, and I understand why you need more than one person to love you to fill up what they never gave you.”

  “You don’t think you’re enough?” The venom in his voice hit her like a slap.

  “I wish I were.” Tears stung her eyes as she played with the ring he’d put on her finger.

  “Wish again. You didn’t get the first one right.” The bed sank where Jake sat next to her. His fingers slid beneath her chin, lifting her face until she was forced to look him in the eyes. “Go ahead and ask me. I’ll defend myself this once. But I won’t spend our lives doing it. If you can’t trust me then it’s not going to work anyway.”

  “How can you expect me to trust you when you’ve made it clear all along you intend to take a mistress whenever you want?”