Pride and Passion Read online

  She pursed her lips and blinked away the hot tears as she reached behind her and undid the clasp of Jake’s necklace. She dropped it in the box, refusing to look at it as she removed her diamond teardrop earrings. College graduation from Dad.

  It was stupid jewelry. Just things. She slammed the lid closed and shoved the box back in the safe, closing it quickly. They might be things, but they were tangible pieces of her memories. What was it Jake said? Memories live in your heart? What if it was broken? Might all the memories spill out with your tears?

  Lily choked on a sob as she walked into her closet and shed her dress, leaving it in a pile on the floor. She didn’t want it anymore, didn’t want anything to remind her of how she’d felt while sitting at a table with Jake and his lover. She slipped on a nightgown and turned off the light. She stood at the window, staring at the dark night. Dee’s car was gone, which gave her some modicum of relief. She wouldn’t have to think about them together in the house. At least if he slept with Dee tonight, he had the decency to do it elsewhere.

  She sunk down onto her bed and pressed her palms against her damp eyes, trying to stem the flow. Maybe she was as stupid as everyone thought. She was jealous of a woman she never wanted to be, wanted a man she could never actually have.

  “Lily?” Jake’s whisper drifted through the door and straightened her spine.

  She listened and waited for him to try the handle, but he didn’t. Instead, she heard his retreating footsteps. The darkness and silence must have been enough to convince him she’d fallen asleep. If only it would be so easy to convince him she still hated him.

  Jake pulled on a pair of lounge pants and stalked out of his room. He’d been trying to fall asleep for hours. He’d even pulled one of Lily’s Jane Austen books off the shelf, figuring he’d doze off for sure. No such luck. It just made him feel guilty.

  He was indulging himself with watching Lily’s jealousy grow, and it hurt her. He had to stop, but he wasn’t in a position to explain everything to her without losing what little advantage he had. Besides, if he started justifying his business relationships to her now, he’d be doing it for the rest of their lives.

  He shook his head in disgust. With the way things were going, Lily might actually leave him alone and run away, no matter the consequences. She had him cornered, and his instinct was to fight. He could easily tempt her until her inhibitions melted, coerce her into accepting things the way he knew they should be. But what he really wanted was for her to realize all they could have if she’d only give herself freely.

  He’d considered going to her tonight. He thought part of her issue with Dee might be insecurity. He’d been very clear that it was her he wanted, but she was inexperienced. While he admired her the more for not succumbing to the whims of the idiots she’d dated, Lily might see her innocence as a disadvantage. Besides, a physical release was what they both needed right now. But he didn’t want her thinking he was using the necklace to barter for anything.

  He made his way through the dark house without turning on any lights. The full moon provided just enough illumination to keep from bumping into things on his way to the kitchen. He pushed open the door and reached for the light switch, flicking it on.

  Lily stood in front of the refrigerator, a carton of milk in her hand, at least until she spied him and dropped it with a gasp. His eyes widened at the sight of Lily in a pale pink nightie, her golden hair loose about her shoulders. The light material dipped low between her full breasts, delicately revealed the curve of her hips, and gave an alluring view of her bare thighs.

  She wasn’t so mesmerized. She cursed, then reached for a towel on the counter and bent low to clean up the spill. Jake pulled his libido back in check and moved to help her. He took the towel from her and she stood. He had to bite back a groan at how the hem of her nightie came right into his line of sight.

  “I’m sorry,” Lily said, walking around him and returning with another towel. “I didn’t expect anyone.”

  “Obviously.” He finished the task and stood, enjoying the way her chest hitched with each breath as he looked down at her. “What are you doing down here?”

  “Having a glass of milk, or trying to anyway. That’s what I do when I can’t sleep.” She kept her gaze locked on his, except for fleeting moments when it dropped to his bare chest.

  He grinned, glad he wasn’t the only one hyper-aware after midnight. “That’s because you sleep alone.”

  Her cheeks pinked, but she recovered quickly, narrowing her eyes. “You know, I think you may be right. It’s time I find someone willing to marry the penniless virgin and cure her insomnia.”

  She tried to walk past him, but he caught her arm, turned her around and pulled her flush against him. “Try it, and you’ll find my patience exhausted quickly.”

  “While you expect me to live a life in perpetual understanding of your need to go through mistresses faster than socks.” She tried to shake off his hold, but he pulled her closer.

  “I’ve never claimed to be a saint. But I’m not going to spend my life feeding into your insecurity. I want you, only you, and have from the moment I saw you.

  “I watched you, this golden angel gliding across a room, and I wanted you to be looking for me, not one of those worthless idiots you dated. We hadn’t even met, and I couldn’t get you out of my mind. Maybe I did use your father to get closer to you. It seemed kismet that we were in the same industry. Will became my friend, but he became my partner because of you. I had no other choice. I had to protect you somehow, and you never would have looked twice at me had I not thrown myself in your way at every opportunity.”

  “You’ve been watching me?” Her haughty tone cut him to the quick. He was never going to be enough for her, never going to measure up to the vapid boys always trailing after her simply because he hadn’t lived their life.

  “And you’ve been watching me, wondering what it would be like if you were only brave enough to step outside your perfect world for a minute and indulge in all I can offer you.” He took a step forward, moving them both until she was backed up against the kitchen table.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” Her eyes flashed with an emotion he hadn’t seen in her yet. True fear, or excitement?

  “What you’ve wanted me to do since you first started watching me. You think there’s something beneath what the world sees. Maybe it’s time I show you what that is.”

  Chapter Six

  One hand threaded through her hair, massaging against her scalp until her eyelids started to droop.

  “Emmaline is still in the house.” Her voice broke with huskiness.

  “Are you afraid you won’t be able to stay quiet?” He brought his mouth down on hers, stealing her protests. He didn’t force her, just moved slowly and softly, enjoying the gentle exploration. Lily escalated things, lifting her hands to his chest and pressing against his bare flesh. She parted her lips and deepened the kiss, answering his every stroke and raising him one better.

  His hands caressed her shoulders, pushing the thin straps of her nightgown down and exposing her round breasts. She gasped as his hands cupped them, his thumbs brushing over the hardening tips. His lips slid along her jaw and nipped down the length of her neck, the strawberry scent of her shampoo and the silken feel of her hair against his cheek driving him on.

  “We shouldn’t do this,” Lily whispered, but she didn’t push him away. Her hands moved to his shoulders, around his back, setting fire to his skin everywhere she touched.

  “It feels good, doesn’t it?” His hands dropped to her waist and he hoisted her onto the table, sliding one of his thighs between hers before she realized what was happening and tried to squeeze them shut. “This will feel even better.”

  With the new alignment her bare breasts were at the perfect height for him to enjoy fully. His lips closed over one rosy peak and he sucked gently, tasting her with his tongue. She drew in a breath and arched her back, one hand twining in his hair. He kept on, learning the pre
ssure and movements she liked best by the way her nails raked at his scalp and by how her thighs relaxed, allowing him to get even closer.

  He pulled back and blew across the wet nipple, enjoying the way she shuddered before he turned his attention to her other breast. With one hand, he toyed with the sensitive bud, and the other he used to push up the short skirt of her nightie. He kneed the firm flesh of her inner thigh until he felt her spread her legs a little wider, giving him access to her most sensitive of places. His fingers found the rough lace of her panties and pushed them aside, parting the soft petals of her flesh.

  She tensed around him, making him wonder if she’d ever allowed herself even this much pleasure from a man. He put the thought away quickly, knowing it didn’t matter. He’d erase anyone who’d tried, teach her everything she needed to know.

  As her hips arched into his hand an urgent need to take her rushed through him. He’d never been so fiercely excited by a woman, so nearing the point where he lost control over his mind. Her hesitant touch only fueled him on, the ache in his groin begging him to sate them both.

  But he wouldn’t take her here, or like this. He wanted more than her passionate submission. He needed for her to want him in the same way, to come to him freely and forever. Being with her like this might change the game, but he knew better than to think it might end it.

  The hand on her breast trailed to her shoulder, and then eased her back slowly. She gazed at him, her eyes shimmering and intoxicated with lust. Slender fingers reached out to him and he leaned down, feeling each fingertip against his scalp as his mouth covered hers, the budded tips of her breast pressing against his chest.

  Her fingers stayed with him as he traced the kiss down her neck and between her breasts. He pushed up the silken hem of her nightie until it bunched about her waist. He trailed down the velvet skin of her stomach, dropping to one knee as he pressed slow kisses alongside her rounded hip.

  She gave a shocked gasp as he parted the folds of her sex, making him smile at her ingrained resistance. He knew if he actually stopped she’d beg him not to. The air that entered her as a gasp escaped as a low moan when his mouth touched the swollen lips of her sex.

  His tongue lapped at her honeyed center, desire unfolding her like a blossoming flower. Deep within him, his own need flared. He held himself in check, pleasuring her until he found the apex of her passion and began to work the rigid nub.

  Her fingernails ran over his scalp as her thighs began to quiver, breath racing through her body. As he fluttered his tongue against her clit he felt her desire swelling. She lifted her hips and twined her fingers in his hair.

  “More, Jake,” she said on a breath. “Please.”

  Pride coursed within him at having driven her past the point of abandon and he gave himself over to her pleasure. While his lips and tongue continued their wicked ministrations, he brought a hand to her core, sliding a finger against her wetness. She pressed against him and he eased inside her, able to feel every undulation, every shudder that throbbed through her as she melted against him in rapture, her passion cresting on a silent cry.

  Jake rested his head on her soft thigh until he caught his breath, fighting to rein in his intense emotions. He rose, fixing the nightie he’d pushed aside in his rush to drive her mad with want. With a hand behind her back he pulled her up, holding her against his chest, his head resting on her silken hair.

  He didn’t want to let her go, but as she regained her senses her tiny hand trailed between them, dipping inside the waistband of his lounge pants. There was only so much he could restrain. He caught her wrist and took a step back, dropping her hand between them.

  “Go to bed, Lily. You’ll be able to sleep now.”

  “But—” Her eyes gleamed with a wonder that filled his heart.

  He shook his head. “Are you on the pill?”

  She dropped her gaze, wrapping her arms around her waist.

  “I didn’t plan this, and I won’t trap you.” He swallowed hard, his mind making excuses, a laundry list of reasons why he could indulge himself right now.

  “But we could…” She looked from his face down his body until her cheeks pinked in embarrassment.

  “Angel, I doubt you even know how.” He helped her down from the table, and with a hand on the small of her back ushered her toward the door. “Go to bed, Lily. Sweet dreams.”

  Lily had lost focus on the evolving definition of love in the works of Jane Austen. Not a great idea when she had two months to finish her thesis. Maybe the texture of irony would work better. Or the new wave of Jane Austen apocrypha. She scribbled furiously in her notebook, outlining a class featuring the books and movies based on Jane Austen’s characters. A class she’d never teach if she didn’t finish her thesis.

  The entire weekend had been spent on her class work. She told herself she wanted to get ahead since she was working, but really she didn’t want to fall asleep. Sleep brought dreams of Jake. She hadn’t spoken to him since the night in the kitchen. Her cheeks heated just thinking about it. Not a word from him all weekend, and this morning at the office she learned he was off scouting projects throughout the country. Great to know what they’d done meant so much to him. And just like everything she tried to think about, it all circled back to Jake Tolliver.

  She groaned in frustration, looking out the window of the cozy bistro she’d come to for lunch. When she was meeting her father for lunch she always suggested they come here. He usually ran late and the large tables gave her plenty of room to work while she waited.

  She’d even come here with her friends since it was near the downtown campus of the university. But both her school friendships and those with people she’d known longer had evaporated. The newspapers had a lot to do with it. As much as she hated it, she understood how society worked. She’d been tarnished by the aftermath of bad investments and the tawdry escapades published about her father. It was too much of a risk for some of her former friends to acquaint with her now.

  The people at school weren’t as cold, but they’d never been exactly friendly. They didn’t understand what had happened, the ramifications of someone else’s mistakes. But Lily had never fit in with them anyway. She didn’t have time for sorority pranks or fraternity parties, then or now. School was for learning, that hadn’t changed.

  The only difference was instead of filling her day with people, she filled it with either work or school. The only people who actually asked how she was doing were Emmaline and Jake. Well, Jake when he could be bothered to pretend he cared about her as more than a trophy.

  No more thinking about Jake. He was gone, and she had better things to think about. Like focusing on her thesis. She turned back to her notebook, but her gaze snagged on the slim man walking through the door. Her first instinct was to smile as she recognized Ian Landon. They’d dated for a while before he’d transferred to a different accounting firm in Florida. But since he’d been away she didn’t know if he’d heard the news about her father. She didn’t want to be snubbed, and she didn’t want to have to explain, so instead of making eye contact she opened up the copy of Pride and Prejudice.

  “Lily, how have you been?” A warm voice wrapped around her.

  She looked up and smiled. “Hello, Ian.”

  “Are you waiting for someone or can I join you?” He pulled out the chair opposite her and sat, not waiting for a response. “I heard about your father. I am sorry.” He reached for her hand and she let him take it, needing him to be sincere. She needed for someone to remember she was a person underneath the veneer, not a student more number than name, or a doll learning about an architecture firm by rote.

  She nodded her thanks. “What are you doing in town?”

  “I’m on an assignment here. I’ll be in the city for six weeks. And what have you been up to?”

  “I’m taking classes at the university.”

  “Are you still playing at that? I thought you would have given it up by now.”

  She clenched her teeth agai
nst explaining that she was getting a graduate degree. She didn’t need to argue with him. “I’m also working at the firm my father owned.”

  “You have a job?” He grimaced in mock disgust. “How awful for you.”

  “Actually, it’s quite nice. I’m learning about the business, about why my father cared so much about it.” She meant every word. She might not like having to avoid Jake’s scrutiny, but she did enjoy learning what the company was all about.

  Ian stared at her blankly, reminding Lily of how so many of the people in that social set looked at her. They’d all thought she wasted her energy trying to earn a degree, energy better spent in day spas and shopping malls.

  “What have you been up to, Ian? Tell me about Florida. I can see you enjoy the sun.”

  He raked a hand through his sun-streaked hair and rubbed on his tanned chin. He told her about beaches and clubs, about clients and golf courses, until she had to tense her jaw to keep from yawning. Her mind was wandering and she had the distinct impression she was being watched. Wary of the reporters she’d so far eluded, she looked around.

  Her heart stalled as she spied Jake’s dark gaze on her. Seated across from him was Dee Gibson who smiled at her while shaking her head slightly. Lily turned her attention back to Ian, but didn’t hear a word.

  How long had they been in the restaurant? When she’d come in she’d been so focused on eating and reading she hadn’t noticed anyone else. Had they been watching her as she sat alone?

  “Who are you looking at?” Ian turned, but Lily couldn’t watch. “Tolliver. Does he still follow you with his eyes everywhere he goes? It was damned unnerving.”

  “Why?” she asked, taking a drink from her ice water.

  “He was always so blatant about it, looking after you as if I meant to run off with you. Your father must have put him up to it.”

  He had no idea. “I should be getting back to work.”